For Shanesnest: Looking Back: A Fan's Tribute
by Nerwen Aldarion
Summary: For all fans of shanesnest's The Rise and Fall, take a stroll down memory lane and remember what made his fanfic so great, read the final few scenes reimagined with flashbacks and song. A fine tribute to the fanfic we all know and love


Disclaimer: I own nothing, The Rise and Fall belongs to Shanesnest, the Dark Forces series belongs to Lucas Arts, I just like to play with the characters

A/N: I have been a fan of shanesnest's The Rise and Fall of Kyle Katarn for a loooooong time now, I've laughed and shouted and thrown things over this fic. I even wrote a few songs (Blaze got Runover by a Speeder...anyone?) and finally after several years the story was finished with the most perfect of endings...

But I felt there was more.

I was listening on my iPod when I heard the song Everything by Lifehouse and the lyrics, the music, everything about it fit the final scene of Part 3. I sent the song to shanesnest, he loved it...but I wanted to do more.

I wanted to share with all of his other fans what felt, what I saw when I read that last scene. Set to the song Everything, I saw the long years I spent reading this story, the crazy arguments, the near kisses, their FIRST kiss and all the chaos their strong personalities bring out.

To make things easier: All words centered and bold are the lyrics to Everything by Lifehouse

All words bold, italicized and to the left of the screen are flashbacks from throughout parts of The Rise and FAll (see if you can remember some of them)

Note: You HAVE to listen to Everything by Lifehouse in order to feel the effects, go to youtube, pull out your iPod, download the song, whatever it takes but you NEED to listen to it, preferably while reading this fic.

Now sit back and go back in time to when you first read this masterpiece.

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For Shanesnest

Looking Back: The Rise and Fall a Fan's Tribute

**Rebel Command Ship **_**New Hope**_

**Reception Hall **

**1830 Hours **

**After Mon Mothma's Speech**

Sometime later, finally able to escape the crowd of well wishers, they both sat down at a table on the other side of the room.

"Whew," Kyle said, pulling the shirt's stiff collar, "I never thought that was going to end."

"You're telling me," Jan echoed, "you'd think we'd captured the Emperor."

Kyle nodded, agreeing.

"You want something to drink?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied, "I'm feeling very dry."

Kyle stood up, spotting the refreshment area.

"Hey Jan?"

She looked up at him.

"What?"

"You really look beautiful."

Before she could reply, Kyle had stepped away.

_**Ordering his squad to take the Rebels prisoner, Kyle removed his helmet in order to see better and began to investigate the control room. It was then he noticed her. If asked, Kyle wouldn't be able to say why it was his eyes landed on her, but they did**_

_You sneaky little…" _she thought, watching him go, _I'm gonna get you when you come back here._

Still, as she watched Kyle getting drinks for both of them and some food, she felt herself wavering a little.

"_**What do we have here?" she asked, "An Imperial soldier with a heart?"**_

When Kyle returned to the table and set two plates and glasses down for them, she spoke.

"Kyle?"

"Yes, Jan?"

"You look nice too."

_**"What are you doing here?" she called to him.**_

_**Looking up from the hyperdrive motivator, Kyle's eyes met hers. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, opened it again…**_

"_**Vrelt got your tongue?" Jan prompted, "I asked what you're doing here."**_

_**Staring at him, Jan saw a play of emotions go across Kyle's face, uncertainty, frustration, resignation.**_

"_**Would you believe that I was looking for you?"**_

She saw the stunned look appear on Kyle's face and couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey!" he complained, "no fair!"

"Sorry," she said, smiling at him, "but seriously Kyle, I mean it. You look nice in that uniform."

"I _feel _like a clown," he said, "besides look at you, Jan. I've never seen you like this before. You're… really pretty."

"Well, if you feel like a clown," she said, "then I feel like part of circus act in this thing."

"Mon Mothma?" he asked.

"How'd you know?"

"Me too," he replied.

Jan shook her head.

"She's pretty clever."

"_And _she has the authority to get away with it," Kyle added.

Jan laughed at that.

"You're right."

_**Kyle couldn't help himself; and with a smirk he added, "I plan on living forever. You?"**_

_**This time Jan did laugh, the ice in her eyes melting. "You're a smartass, Katarn," she said, punching him in the shoulder.**_

_**Kyle's smirk widened into a true smile. "I know."**_

The two fell silent, not looking at each other.

It was then Jan noticed some of the group had begun to dance.

**Find Me Here**

"Look," she said to Kyle.

He followed her pointing finger.

"Hey," he said, "those two. Isn't that Mon Mothma and General Madine?"

Jan looked.

**And Speak To Me**

"You're right, it is."

The two of them watched the couple for a bit.

Jan looked at Kyle.

_He really does look handsome_, she thought.

**I want to feel you**

She thought of the words exchanged in his quarters and decided to go for it.

"Kyle?"

He turned to look at her.

"Yes?"

**I need to hear you**

"Would you dance with me?"

The blood seemed to drain away from Kyle's face in an instant.

"Wh… Wh… Wha… What… What… did… you say?"

She smiled at him.

**You are the light**

"I want to dance with you."

He looked strickened.

"I don't know, Jan."

"You don't want to?"

**That's leading me**

"It's not that," Kyle admitted, his face flushing with embarrassment, "I… I don't… I don't know how."

Jan's smile broadened.

Her gamble was paying off.

**To the place where I find peace again.**

"It's okay," she said, rising to her feet, "I can show you."

Kyle looked very nervous.

"Jan, I… I don't want to embarrass you. If I mess up or something…"

_**Stepping up to her, Kyle reached for her hands, encircling them with his own.**_

"_**Before you go, I wanted to say thank you."**_

_**Jan gave him a confused look. "Thank me? For what?"**_

"_**For caring enough to tell me the truth**_,"

Moving to stand next to him, Jan put a hand on his shoulder and leaned down, bringing her face close to his.

"Kyle?"

"Yes?"

"Trust me."

**You are the strength, that keeps me walking.**

Staring up into her face, Kyle still felt nervous, but decided he could at least try.

He stood up.

"Okay, let's go."

"Here," she said, gesturing, "take my hand."

**You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.**

_**He looked up, a smile coming to his face.**_

_**They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. Kyle felt the touch of her skin on his. It was an oddly comfortable feeling. Suddenly, as if a spell had been broken, two operatives looked at each other with surprise as they realized they were holding hands.**_

_**Jan yanked hers away just as Kyle pulled his back, both embarrassed, looking anywhere but at each other.**_

Following her instructions, Kyle slipped his hand under hers and together, the two of them walked to where the others were dancing.

"Now," Jan said, "put your right hand here and your left here."

She took Kyle's right hand in her left and placed his left hand on her side, just above her waist, the fabric of the dress crinkling slightly. She placed her right hand on his shoulder.

**You are the light to my soul.**

Kyle looked down at her and Jan could see he was feeling self-conscious.

"Relax," she said, "just move with me. It's easy."

_**Curled up next to him, one arm lying across his chest was Jan. Her eyes were closed and her steady breathing told him she was asleep. **__**But what in the name of Xendor's minions was going on**__**? he thought.**_

_**Part of him wanted to get up and run away, but another part wanted to him to stay right there, maybe forever. **_

"Oh-okay," he said, swallowing with a gulping sound.

Slowly, Jan moved and Kyle followed. They moved back and forth, then side to side.

**You are my purpose...you're everything.**

"That's it," she said, smiling up at him, "you're doing fine."

They continued, Kyle getting more and more comfortable with each step.

Soon, his look of nervousness was replaced with a smile.

"_**You're jealous!" Kyle said, smirking at her."**_

"_**What!" Jan yelled, "I most certainly am not!"**_

"_**Oh yes, you are," Kyle replied, "It's so obvious."**_

"_**You don't know what you're talking about, Katarn."**_

"_**Look, Jan," he said, "it's a normal feeling. Blaze is attractive after all."**_

"_**And I'm not?" Jan said, fire in her eyes**_

"This is kinda fun," he said.

"See what happens when you listen to me?" she said.

**How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**

Seated a short distance away, Mon Mothma and General Madine gazed at the dancing couple.

"They look pretty good together," Madine observed.

"Indeed," Mon Mothma said.

He waited a short bit.

"Ten credits says he kisses her right here," Madine challenged.

"I do not like betting games, General," Mon Mothma said, then with a wink added, "Especially when the outcome is so clear. Fifteen credits that Kyle waits until after the party."

The General smiled at her.

"You're on."

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**Rebel Command Ship **_**New Hope**_

**The corridor outside Jan Ors' quarters **

**Four hours later**

"I _am_ tired," Kyle said, stifling a yawn.

**You calm the storms, and you give me rest.**

"So am I," Jan echoed, "I don't think I've danced that much in a while."

"Was it too much?" Kyle asked concernedly.

"I enjoyed every moment of it," Jan said smiling at him.

**You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.**

"_**Kyle, please don't walk away, don't run and hide. It won't help you. Stay here and help us. And someday, when the Empire is finally defeated, your pain will ease."**_

_**Jan could see tears brimming in Kyle's eyes. And it was only with a supreme act of will that he held them back.**_

_**Jan returned the communicator to her belt and looked to Kyle. "C'mon, let's go back to your quarters." Kyle nodded again.**_

_**Moving to stand beside him, Jan took his free arm and guided him out of the hangar bay. Despite the pain and grief he felt, Kyle noticed her touch. Firm, but soft and warm too. He liked how it felt.**_

They stopped at the door to her quarters.

"Ugh, I can't wait to get inside and get this dress off," she said, looking down at herself.

"Me too," Kyle said, "the neck on this thing has no give at all."

"Well then," Jan said, a bit awkwardly, "I guess we should say good night then."

**You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.**

"I guess we should," Kyle echoed, also feeling awkward.

Silence descended.

_**Jan's outfit never seemed to vary much. She wore tight fitting trousers, desert brown in color. At the waist, a number of gadgets hung, including her blaster pistol. She wore a long sleeve shirt that had once likely been white. Her round face was smudged with dirt and soot, but it didn't hide those bright blue eyes.**_

_**Her brown hair cascaded all about her head. The goggles she wore held some of it back, but not by much. But despite all that…**_

_**She is kind of pretty**__**, Kyle thought, wondering how he hadn't noticed before.**_

Neither of them moved.

"Did you notice the way Mon Mothma and General Madine were looking at us?" Kyle asked.

**Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?**

"Yes, I did," Jan said, frowning, "what was that all about?"

"Wish I knew," Kyle said, shrugging.

"_**I'm sorry."**_

"_**Sorry for what?"**_

"_**If I'd listened to you, we'd still be on the **__**New **__**Hope."**_

_**She turned in her seat to face him, reached out a hand. He took it.**_

"_**It's okay," she said, smiling at him. "At least we're together."**_

Silence descended again.

"I'd better get inside," Jan said.

"Yeah," Kyle replied.

He turned to go.

_**Kyle?"**_

_**He heard her call his name. She was right in front of him. But he couldn't raise his head to face her. He feared what he'd see in her eyes and what he wouldn't.**_

_**There was a light touch on his face, a gentle but firm grip on his chin. He had no strength to fight her. With infinite care, Jan lifted his face to hers. Her eyes were open and gazing into his. He saw no condemnation, anger or hurt in them, only acceptance and forgiveness. He managed a small smile.**_

_**Jan smiled back, her eyes drifting closed as her face moved closer to his. Kyle felt the touch of her lips on his, realized she was kissing him.**_

Jan decided.

**How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**

"Kyle, wait a second."

He stopped, faced her again.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No," she answered, "I just…"

_No regrets, Jan, _she told herself.

She reached out a hand, touched Kyle's face.

"I don't know if I like this beard, Katarn."

"Really?" he said, "I kinda do."

Jan ran her hand along the side of his face, feeling the hairs touch her skin.

**  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**

"Kyle, I…"

"Jan?"

"What?"

"Shut up."

Kyle bent down, closing his eyes.

**'Cause You're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything, everything**

"_**Jan, please don't leave."…**_

"_**Jan!" he cried.**_

_**Before either of them knew what was happening, they reached for each other, embraced.**_

Jan closed hers as well, keeping her hand where it was as Kyle's lips touched hers.

**You're all I want your all I need  
You're everything, everything.**

_**Reaching up, she encircled Kyle's neck with her arms. As he stood there, she hugged him, putting her face against his chest for a moment.**_

"_**Thank you, Kyle."**_

**You're all I want you're all I need.  
You're everything, everything**

Both felt as in an electrical shock had gone off in their bodies.

**You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.**

"_**Wow," he said.**_

_**She raised an eyebrow. "Is that all you have to say?"**_

"_**Wowee?" he offered.**_

**And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**

Jan slid her other arm up and around Kyle's neck.

_**Jan didn't seem to notice the applause, her eyes fixed on his, shining in the light. One of her hands reached up to his neck, gently pulling.**_

_**At first, he wasn't sure what was happening; then as Jan closed her eyes, he understood. Closing his own, Kyle let her pull him down, lips poised to touch hers.**_

**How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**

He responded by reaching out and wrapping his arms around her.

_**Is there something between the two of you?**_

_**Jan is my friend. She's been there for me when no else was**_

_**We've learned to rely on each other, trust each other implicitly**_

"_**We're friends," he repeated, "and maybe, just maybe, something more?"**_

Jan let Kyle pull her close.

_I didn't know it would feel like this, _they both thought.

It seemed nearly an eternity before Jan gently broke the kiss.

"That was nice, Katarn."

"I liked it too," he said, gazing at her.

She slid her arm off him and Kyle released her.

They stood there for a long moment, looking at each other.

"Still friends?" he asked, not sure why he had said that.

She nodded.

"And just maybe something more."

They smiled at each other.

Kyle turned to go.

"Good night, Jan."

"Good night, Kyle."

He walked off and Jan entered her quarters.

**  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**

Both of them had the same thought.

_I think I might love her._

_I think I might love him._

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A/N: Well what do you think? Did it really set the scene to magic? Did the flashbacks make you laugh? Let me know, press the button and tell me what you think

PS: I DID get permission from shanesnest before posting, this is a tribute to him so make sure you give him a shout out too!


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